I hate people who are not serious about their meals. -- Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Federal Donuts: I'll have the Chicken

Om Nomz Hero Note to Self: an undershirt not only keeps you warm, it can be used as an emergency napkin.

I hope to never have to ever go to a methadone clinic because from what I understand how it works and seen, Federal Donuts is a methadone clinic for fried chicken. There are people in a small space all wanting the same thing, schedule chicken "dispensing" and limited quantity of it.
Every day from 11:45 am and 5 pm on the weekends, Federal Donuts is dropping chicken into the fryer and selling until they run out. There are a limited number of chickens so once the chicken runs out, you got to head to Crown Chicken to get your fix. In order to get some chicken, you need to get a number, I was told that I could start getting a number around 11:45 but when I came by around 11:30, they were already at number 20 which was okay and still secured me for chicken. Also from what I saw, there is no limit really on how many tickets you are allowed to have so if you want to be "that guy" and get 8 whole chickens, have at it. Each number is equal to one order of chicken, which is half order of a chicken, which is 4 pieces. Unfortunately, this concept was too complicated for many and just enforces the fact that ¾ of Americans are retarded.

One Ticket=One order of chicken=4 pieces of chicken.

So for those of you that clearly did not do so hot on the SAT Math section, if you want a whole chicken, how many tickets should you get? Exactly.

I have to credit and praise the staff at Federal Donuts for dealing with and putting up with so much and even during a service rush, was polite, courteous and descent human beings. I am pretty sure if this was New York or the line at Difaras, some of these patrons would have ended up with a sharpened rusty piece of metal in them.

my tickets for a chicken fix

There are two styles of chicken that you can get, the twice fried Korean fried chicken glaze and the dry/Southern style chicken. The Korean fried style glazed chicken, you get it either in chili garlic or honey garlic and the dry/Southern Style, za'atar, coconut curry, harrisa or as is. Chicken after the jump!

Seeing I had more things to do in my day of Philly and not wanting to further destroy any government health initiatives, I opted to get one in each style and when with the chili garlic and the za’atar a Middle Eastern spice blend that is nutty, toasted and herbal. Think of this as the Old Bay seasoning of the Middle East. Each order of chicken comes with a small container of Japanese style cucumber pickles and instead of a biscuit, a honey donut.

The glazed chili garlic

The chicken is brined, assuming organic/free range/all that stuff given the small size of the chicken pieces. It is not going to look like the bucket you get at the Colonel’s. The glazed is by far the superior tasting of the two styles and the messiest. There are no wet naps, of a bathroom, so your hands will smell like you moisturized with hot sauce. The skin is crisp and the glaze was not overly hot and heavy on the garlic. the Japanese pickles which had some ginger flavors going on was an interesting combination with the chicken and I am not a hundred percent they go that well. The honey doughnut was cold and pre-made and slightly sweet. If you get the chicken to go, I suggest giving it the microwave or quick conventional oven treatment, improving the doughnut.

za'atar chicken

The dry chicken flavors were great; the za’atar spiced chicken, was absurdly fragrant in the best possible way though I wished there was more of a crusty exterior to the chicken. The white meat pieces unfortunately were a bit dry but still edible and enoyable. Eating the chicken there is a challenge, because they have a counter that has 6 seats. The place is crowded and is like a scene at a refugee camp clamoring the aid truck for rice and as I briefly mentioned before, people not being to understand how it works and needing a full explanation and the tasting notes of each kind of chicken (mini rant: if my dumbass can figure it out for the first time, then your dumbass should figure it out too, stop holding up the line). However, amidst the craziness, there is a communal and friendly atmosphere to everything. I started talking to the strangers next to me, had to politely educate someone in the merits of Shake Shack and other superior burgers in New York. The chicken is good. The chicken style somewhat reminds of the Momofuku Fried Chicken meals having a glazed and dry version and if I was to compare the two, Momofuku would be a clear winner but again, similar but there are a lot of differences between the two. Also, if Chang ever employed the Momofuku Fried Chicken dinners in this fashion, someone would get hurt. The chicken is worth going to try at least once, but going Federal Donuts the chicken is not the sole factor in going, it is the total experience that makes it an enjoyable experience.

Federal Donuts
1219 S 2nd St
Philadelphia, PA 19147

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